Sex Aids for the Terrified; A journey into the mysteries and myth of sex toys- Mary Clegg
Fears, Myths and Legends
Last time I introduced you to the idea that sex toys have been around for a while now lets explore the fears, myths and legends that surround them.
Like many aspects of human sexuality, much is made of the myths and legends that surround the use and value of sex aids. Many believe that they will emasculate the male partner by replacing men rather than act as complementary to sex (Walther Brazil study). More pervasive are the strongly held beliefs that they are tacky or obscene and a sign of failure that one is unable to achieve sexual gratification by more natural efforts. Some perceive them as perverted, kinky and more extremely in older clients, the shocking admission that women masturbate too!
Marie Stopes Book Married Love (1918) started to inform women of sexual practice, but it was not until 1953 that Kinsey and his colleagues published the controversial book Sexual Behaviour in the Human Female that human sexuality became a more respectable topic for discussion and research. This of course was followed in 1966 by Masters and Johnson’s seminal work Human Sexual Response.
Despite this, many are embarrassed by aids, but are curious about them despite lacking confidence to explore this aspect of their sex life. Experimentation with aids and their imaginative use has the potential to greatly enhance the sexual experience but it appears that we are somewhat reluctant or sometimes lack the confidence to broach the topic. It is amazing that we are capable of discussing many things but what to do and how to do it in the bedroom still seems a topic too far.
Suitable education around the topic of sex aids can help improve awareness of how they can be used effectively, thus raising the users’ comfort and confidence levels. However even in such magazines as Cosmopolitan, they skim the surface and go for sensational headlines and poor, ill-informed content. Emily Dubberley with her magazine Scarlet and website Cliterati.com blazed their own peculiar trail more recently but at least it was out there and accessible to those savvy enough to trawl the internet without being bombarded by images from the more lewd and pornographic sites. Sadly these publications did not last in the digital age (Scarlet Magazine folded in 2010) and it appears to be more of a mine field now to get good quality information from trusted sources.