Therapy for Relationship Abuse

Abusive Relationship Counselling

Sad Woman in Fetal position

Therapy for Relationship Abuse

Relationship Therapy

The word “abuse” is defined as “any past or recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker, which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse, or exploitation, or an act or failure to act which presents an imminent risk of serious harm.”

However, there are many different types of abuse. While the more common forms include domestic violence, child abuse and emotional abuse, and any behaviour towards someone that causes deliberate harm or upset can be considered abuse.

So if you are in a relationship and your partner shouts at you and you are upset by it, that too is abuse.

So see how many of these are present in your current relationship that you feel you cannot change:


List 1: Your partner is

  1. Demanding sex and/or obedience.
  2. Controlling resources: money, freedom, time.
  3. Using violence or threats to control you.
  4. Showing anger and contempt for you in public (includes: attacks on character or appearance as well as acting as if you were invisible).
  5. Shouting or intimidating with words or gestures (includes: sarcasm, mocking, finger-pointing, cornering, and taunting).
  6. Blaming, belittling, interrogating, name-calling.
  7. Hammering a point to death.
  8. Ganging up on you by bringing in kids, in-laws, other allies.
  9. Excusing their bad behaviour by blaming you for it: “I wouldn’t drink if you weren’t so controlling.”
  10. Doing any of the above in front of your children.

List 2: Conversely you may feel the only way that you can retaliate may be one or several of the following

  1. Withdrawing or Avoiding (includes: the garage, the kids, work, school, alcohol, etc.).
  2. Stonewalling (includes: the silent treatment, refusing to talk).
  3. Withholding affection, attention, tenderness, appreciation, sex.
  4. Making excuses for why you didn’t follow through. . . again.
  5. Making and breaking promises and agreements.
  6. Procrastinating.
  7. Chronic “forgetting”: “Oops. . . You know how my memory is.”
  8. Chronic lateness.
  9. Chronic apologies without subsequent changes in behaviour.
  10. Flaunting affection for others in front of your partner.
  11. Lying or hiding the truth.
  12. Bad-mouthing your partner to children, friends, and family.
  13. Developing a social network that excludes your partner.

People who have endured emotional or physical abuse in childhood can experience a lasting effect on their ability to function as they would like. Some try to hide it by way of alcohol, drugs, gambling, smoking, etc. Others adapt their behaviour to comply or conform. Good examples of this would be “people pleasing” and putting others first before oneself and some of the examples in list 2. So you may end up putting up with the issue rather than dealing with it. Now we are not saying that there is anything wrong with any of these things so long as it does not distress you and you are relatively happy.

The Mary Clegg Clinic helps you to get these things in perspective and gives you alternative, workable solutions so that both of you get a win-win rather than a win-lose outcome. We are able to work with all forms of psychological damage caused by abuse and the compulsive behaviour that may or may not accompany it.

We can work with:

  1. Sexual abuse
  2. Relationship abuse
  3. Physical abuse
  4. Emotional abuse Addiction(s) – Compulsive behaviour
  5. Alcoholism
  6. Drug abuse
  7. Gambling Smoking
  8. Internet addiction – and pornography
  9. Sex addiction or sexual compulsivity

Contact Us for Therapy for Relationship Abuse

Whether it’s guilt, hatred or fear – get these feelings behind you now and start to live a calm, fulfilling life that you so deserve and become a blessing to all as you heal your pain.

Click to book your appointment here.