Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship, sexual, intimate or otherwise. The art of communicating is not only how we impart our messages, but how we receive them. Some people say what they mean and mean what they say but may not say any of it well enough to be understood.
Just to make things a little more complicated we are not always aware, or do not always understand what people mean by what they say. In addition some people listen with their ears and do not hear a thing, while others listen with their whole being (ears, eyes and emotions).
Better communication does not mean talking more or agreeing more but making sure that we make our messages clear and strive to understand the messages of others. By doing this we are better equipped to deal with difficulties when they arise. But before we start to talk to others there are some important points to remember:
When partners generally communicate well, this can have an enormous influence on the quality of their relationship. This, in turn, will very often have a beneficial effect on their intimate relationship. For any communication to be beneficial to both parties, it is important to remember to encourage, praise and to negotiate, there are no stings in the tail (an unkind remark aimed to hurt) and use clear “I” statements. This could sound like “I feel hurt when you……” or “I would like you to be willing to…….” Or “I do not like it when you…..”.
If you stick to these simple rules of engagement when you talk to anyone be they a partner, family member, friend, colleague or indeed, a stranger it will enhance your experience of them and they of you. Give it a go today!