There is evidence that the divorce rate is falling from its peak in the 1970s. This is ascribed to the damage experienced by the current generation who have lived through or have seen the effects of relationship breakdown on children. At the same time, there is pressure on couples whether married or not wanting to buy a home, start a family or progress in a career. These pressures and others may cause anxiety, even stress and in many cases the drawing of lines of conflict as difficulties become entrenched with time and can rear their heads as sullen silences, withdrawal and even “out of context rages”. The current trend of trying to avoid ultimate breakdown may acerbate the problems.
At the start of a relationship, we are happy to let the world know of every detail of our relationship, our plans, our happiness and our dreams (a state called “Limerance” by Andrew Samuels – not a lot of people know that) but as the relationship grows and more negative influences are brought to bear, our ability to discuss problems within our relationship let alone with family and friends seems to get more difficult.
So it can be hard to talk about relationship difficulties with each other and many of us go through periods when our relationships make us unhappy or ill at ease. The inability to discuss these feelings makes us even more unhappy and worried and we may become anxious too. Some people feel they have no one to turn to and feel that problems become unsolvable.
Couples therapy offers a safe space to explore and understand what is going wrong and to work together on the difficulties. Poor communication or difficulty handling conflict are some of the typical issues raised. As you are in a relationship together it is preferable that you attend together, because relationship and sexual difficulties rarely (if ever) “belong” to one partner or the other. If you don’t have a partner or s/he is not willing to attend, you are welcome to come to sessions on you own.
Couples Therapy requires a big commitment and no more than the commitment you made to each other at the beginning of your relationship, so let us work with you to rekindle the spark.