When someone listens to you and then explores what you have said in a way that allows you to gain both understanding and clarity about your feelings and emotions, then you have just experienced Therapy/Counselling. The most important aspect is that you are heard and, in couple counselling, the views of you and your partner are heard.
Being witness to hearing your partner properly, maybe for the first time, is part and parcel of the therapy process. Many clients say that they never really understood their partner until the therapist holds the defining words, emotions, feelings and reactive triggers in the therapy room. This despite having lived together for years!
Relationship counselling gives you and your partner a chance to look at the problems you’re facing in a different way with someone who will respect and encourage your opinions and decisions. And they’ll help you to think of other options and ways of addressing your situation that you not have thought of before because they have a different set of relationship “tools” than those you have been using.
They are non judgemental and do not take sides so they will be able to see and point out behaviour that you may not be aware of; behaviour that can be unhelpful or destructive. The impact of this behaviour on each other can be explored so you understand why sometimes your partner may be triggered by something you do or say. They are highly skilled practitioners with years of specialist training to allow this to happen. It may appear easy to do in the therapy session just because of that training and practice. They hold you, the client, in unconditional positive regard, seeing potential and value in everything you say during a session.
For many people, the solutions may be right under their nose, but it takes someone objective to see what those solutions are. Gaining insight into who you are, why you do what you do and where it is possible to change, is part of that process.