Hot Tips to Improve Communication

Hot Tips to Improve Communication

Better Communications

Communication is the cornerstone of any relationship, sexual, intimate or otherwise. The art of communicating is not only how we impart our messages, but how we receive them. Some people say what they mean and mean what they say but may not say any of it well enough to be understood.

Just to make things a little more complicated we are not always aware, or do not always understand what people mean by what they say. In addition some people listen with their ears and do not hear a thing, while others listen with their whole being (ears, eyes and emotions).

Better communication does not mean talking more or agreeing more but making sure that we make our messages clear and strive to understand the messages of others. By doing this we are better equipped to deal with difficulties when they arise. But before we start to talk to others there are some important points to remember:

  • Respect Yourself – you have the right to your opinions and beliefs.
  • Respect other people – they have a right to their opinions and beliefs.
  • Take responsibility for your feelings and actions – do not blame others for what you feel and do.
  • Accept that other people are responsible for themselves
  • Acknowledge your successes and mistakes and learn from them
  • Identify what you do and do not like/want/ or need.
  • Have the courage to say no
  • Accept that others have the right to say no.
  • Do not use, abuse or ridicule someone sharing their thoughts, feelings, hopes, dreams or fears with you.
  • Share your thoughts, feelings, hope, dreams or fears without the fear of being used, abused or ridiculed.
  • Disagree and agree to disagree without breaking the relationship.
  • Pay attention to what other people say and how they say it.
  • Consider the possible effects and impact of your responses
  • Clearly express your thoughts and feelings
  • Reflect back to the person what they have said so that they feel heard, understood and listened to.
  • Believe the other person has heard, listened and understood what you have said to them.

When partners generally communicate well, this can have an enormous influence on the quality of their relationship. This, in turn, will very often have a beneficial effect on their intimate relationship. For any communication to be beneficial to both parties, it is important to remember to encourage, praise and to negotiate, there are no stings in the tail (an unkind remark aimed to hurt) and use clear “I” statements. This could sound like “I feel hurt when you……” or “I would like you to be willing to…….” Or “I do not like it when you…..”.

If you stick to these simple rules of engagement when you talk to anyone be they a partner, family member, friend, colleague or indeed, a stranger it will enhance your experience of them and they of you. Give it a go today!